Perfection is an Illusion of Love
Not all marriages are made in heaven, and not all marriages will last. And if you think your marriage is in trouble, it probably is. There are many signs of a bad marriage, different ones for each relationship. And often it is hard to know when to stay and when to let it go.
A happy marriage requires a considerable amount of work. As nothing is perfect in this world, and so isn’t any marriage. But pursuit for perfection makes us happier, stronger and better people. Below I am laying down some of those signs of a failing marriage.
Top 7 Signs of a Bad Marriage
1. Keeping things to yourself
Do you feel yourself reluctant to talk to your spouse about problems and life in general? Communication is essential for a healthy relationship and wellness of person. If you are not comfortable with communicating with your partner, this is a sign of a lost trust. No marriage can flourish where there are issues of trust is no trust.
2. No Sex
Sex is like the oxygen for relationship, it feeds passion. Marriage without sex ends in separation or in being marriage of convenience. Where couple is simply being afraid of change, or stays together for the sake of the children.
3. Thoughts of being outside
Thinking of how great life would be if you were single is normal during times of marital strife. However, if this kind of thinking occupies your head most of the time, it’s a good sign that you need to seek marriage help before it’s too late
4. You cannot agree on goals and values
Married couple is a team. If you can’t agree in which direction your life is going, then marriage is bound to be unsuccessful.
5. Emotional abuse in relationship
When unhappy, most people don’t keep bad emotions to themselves but pour it out to people that they are close with. This may materialize in judging, criticizing or teasing in a harmful way. The best way to react is to show your concern in changed behavior, but state clearly that you are not going to tolerate this kind of treatment.
6. Not spending enough time together
Eating at different times, or while watching TV; Spending more time in front of a computer screen, then with your spouse – are the signs of lost interest.
7. The bad outweighs the good
Unconscionably we push away everything, that doesn’t bring us pleasure, or what brings us more positive then negative.
Advice for an Unhappy Marriage
Marriage is a union of two people, two different personalities with different habits, cravings and aspirations, and so imbalances occur. And conflicts repeat themselves until that balance is reached. Mastery of this balance is the way of self-discovery, mutual growth and achievements. Wise man once said: “True love does not come by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.” If bad things are coming our way, life always gives us warnings or signs, and it is our job to learn to read this signs. If we are looking for perfection in our relationship, we need to learn to see the signs of bad things coming.
People naturally ignore problems, until they strike them. Problems shouldn’t be ignored or brushed under the carpet but dealt with and resolved by both partners. That is why in a relationship it is so important to see every tiny change in your emotions, your loved one’s behavior, and mutual feelings. When things go wrong, signals tend to become stronger and stronger. Not all marriages will last, and depending on power of these warning signals some relationships can survive.
Every couple has ups and downs. Some downs are deep some, are shallow. But you must remember that problems feed on inactivity, and if you don’t take action now it will be even harder later.
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